For the main part I find life on the New Planet relatively crime free, especially in the area where I reside among the sheep and nothing more vicious than the odd spider or mosquito intent on draining my last ounce of blood. Now, of course I realise that it's not like this everywhere, and events of the last months have brought this home to me.
Back in the Southernmost Colony, I was quite accustomed to hearing terrifying stories from friends and family who had been hijacked, tied up and robbed at gunpoint in their homes and raped while out jogging, and I confess I barely raised an eyebrow and apart from the appropriate expletive or gasp of horror, carried on in the sure knowledge that one day it would be my turn. Living with such acts of violence day by day, one somehow becomes immune to them. It was only after living on this planet for a while that I realised how bad things were and have many a time heaved a sigh of relief at the safeness of Old Blighty, and the freedom to wander down leafy lanes or through mysterious woods without fear of attack.
And then, in the last few months, this New Planet has been disturbed by two men rampaging with guns in quiet rural settings, leaving death and destroyed lives behind them. The question of why a seemingly normal, 'nice' man would pick up a gun and go on a rampage killing and maiming will no doubt be debated for years to come, and I am sure his family will never fully understand why it happened.
And, almost more horrifyingly, the second gunman, who by all accounts was driven by revenge and anger, and evaded capture for some days before taking his own life, is now being hailed a 'hero' by vast numbers of deluded New Planetarians.
They have set up 'pages' on a certain social interaction site, where they extol him as 'a legend', expressing their delight in his rampage and evasion of the police, like he's some kind of modern folk hero escaping from an evil sheriff. Now excuse me if I find this completely inexplicable and just downright wrong! Since when did killing innocent people out of spite and jealousy become an heroic act? What's the matter with these people? Has television/film violence so eroded their sense of right that they are unable to comprehend the true cost of such behaviour? What of the brave law man that was shot in the face and blinded for life? What of his family and friends and the family and friends of the man murdered for daring to date the gunman's ex-girlfriend? Why is killing and taunting the police a hail worthy act? How did their way of thinking become so warped?
It just does not make sense to me. This was not a desperate man killing for food or stealing in order to survive, it was cold blooded murder and it disturbs me greatly that there are people on my lovely New Planet who think he's a hero. I'm sure those communities will take a very long time to recover and they aren't helped by the nitwits who post admiring comments about the killer.
And don't even get me started on the yobs in the great capital city who think that knifing someone is the best way to settle a grudge...
Tuesday 20 July 2010
Thursday 1 July 2010
Flags at half mast...
So, it's taken me a while to recover my good spirits and rejoin the normal world (well actually I've started watching the tennis instead where some hope remains) and so I won't say much about the ball kickers from the New Planet!
Except...at the risk of repeating everything that's already been written about 'them', I'd just like to add my two cents worth...they were rubbish and not in the good 'it can easily be recycled for the good of mankind' type rubbish. No, just plain old smelly garbage. From the time the first ball was hoofed over the line to the last one that screamed past the head of Mr James and shattered the dreams of an entire planet, those supposedly brave and valiant warriors who were going to lift the trophy and make us all proud, were ru-bb-ish! But I'm not bitter, really I'm not. Despite the you-know-what actually going over the line and being disallowed. Actually, they deserved to have their underpants and other clothing stolen from their hotel rooms, s'not like they can't afford more is it? And you didn't see them being flown home economy class because that would have been plain silly as they can actually afford to buy the whole plane...so spare a thought for the underpants stealers who will now languish in a prison for three years for daring to touch the soiled undergarments of our demi-gods (hah!).
I am however, very happy indeed to say that I am immensely proud of the Southernmost Colony, who have put on a spectacular show for all planets everywhere, with very little reported crime or catastrophe, though that will no doubt be revealed in due course. And even though our ears are still bleeding from the vuvu-what-cha-ma-call-its, and 'the boys the boys' didn't actually get beyond the first round, at least they played with some panache and thrashed those petulant continental pouters and sent them back to their garlic munching planet in disgrace.
And I have even, I confess, felt some slight pangs at not being there amidst the frivolity and eardrum shattering noise and flags flying from every lamp post in sight. According to my dear friend who still lives in the Southernmost Colony and attended a couple of matches, the spirit that abounds everywhere is a wonder to behold and I do wish I could have seen it and joined in...well, maybe it'll be the same on the New Planet in 2012, eh? But kudos to the people and organisers on the Rainbow Colony who have done such a brilliant job, despite the freezing cold and torrential rain at times. I had a good chuckle at the shivering reporters exclaiming in disgust at how cold they were since they 'thought it was always hot here'. I have one word for you lot. Winter.
And now that the red and white flags that were flying proudly have been ripped down or urinated upon by drunken and disappointed fans, I have only one thing to say. We'll try again in four years time, and we'll all get whipped up into a frenzy about our team, who will hold the weight of the entire planet's hopes on their shoulders, and maybe, just maybe, they'll actually score more than a couple of feeble goals.
And one last point to ponder...did no one notice that we actually defeated a certain planet from Down Under in another sporting event? Why was so little mention made of this, the gentleman's game, I ask you? But I'm not gonna even go there, and rant about how I can't even watch this wonderful game on my telly since I don't have SKY. No, I'm not going to mention that at all.
Except...at the risk of repeating everything that's already been written about 'them', I'd just like to add my two cents worth...they were rubbish and not in the good 'it can easily be recycled for the good of mankind' type rubbish. No, just plain old smelly garbage. From the time the first ball was hoofed over the line to the last one that screamed past the head of Mr James and shattered the dreams of an entire planet, those supposedly brave and valiant warriors who were going to lift the trophy and make us all proud, were ru-bb-ish! But I'm not bitter, really I'm not. Despite the you-know-what actually going over the line and being disallowed. Actually, they deserved to have their underpants and other clothing stolen from their hotel rooms, s'not like they can't afford more is it? And you didn't see them being flown home economy class because that would have been plain silly as they can actually afford to buy the whole plane...so spare a thought for the underpants stealers who will now languish in a prison for three years for daring to touch the soiled undergarments of our demi-gods (hah!).
I am however, very happy indeed to say that I am immensely proud of the Southernmost Colony, who have put on a spectacular show for all planets everywhere, with very little reported crime or catastrophe, though that will no doubt be revealed in due course. And even though our ears are still bleeding from the vuvu-what-cha-ma-call-its, and 'the boys the boys' didn't actually get beyond the first round, at least they played with some panache and thrashed those petulant continental pouters and sent them back to their garlic munching planet in disgrace.
And I have even, I confess, felt some slight pangs at not being there amidst the frivolity and eardrum shattering noise and flags flying from every lamp post in sight. According to my dear friend who still lives in the Southernmost Colony and attended a couple of matches, the spirit that abounds everywhere is a wonder to behold and I do wish I could have seen it and joined in...well, maybe it'll be the same on the New Planet in 2012, eh? But kudos to the people and organisers on the Rainbow Colony who have done such a brilliant job, despite the freezing cold and torrential rain at times. I had a good chuckle at the shivering reporters exclaiming in disgust at how cold they were since they 'thought it was always hot here'. I have one word for you lot. Winter.
And now that the red and white flags that were flying proudly have been ripped down or urinated upon by drunken and disappointed fans, I have only one thing to say. We'll try again in four years time, and we'll all get whipped up into a frenzy about our team, who will hold the weight of the entire planet's hopes on their shoulders, and maybe, just maybe, they'll actually score more than a couple of feeble goals.
And one last point to ponder...did no one notice that we actually defeated a certain planet from Down Under in another sporting event? Why was so little mention made of this, the gentleman's game, I ask you? But I'm not gonna even go there, and rant about how I can't even watch this wonderful game on my telly since I don't have SKY. No, I'm not going to mention that at all.
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