Flags at half mast...

So, it's taken me a while to recover my good spirits and rejoin the normal world (well actually I've started watching the tennis instead where some hope remains) and so I won't say much about the ball kickers from the New Planet!

Except...at the risk of repeating everything that's already been written about 'them', I'd just like to add my two cents worth...they were rubbish and not in the good 'it can easily be recycled for the good of mankind' type rubbish. No, just plain old smelly garbage. From the time the first ball was hoofed over the line to the last one that screamed past the head of Mr James and shattered the dreams of an entire planet, those supposedly brave and valiant warriors who were going to lift the trophy and make us all proud, were ru-bb-ish! But I'm not bitter, really I'm not. Despite the you-know-what actually going over the line and being disallowed. Actually, they deserved to have their underpants and other clothing stolen from their hotel rooms, s'not like they can't afford more is it? And you didn't see them being flown home economy class because that would have been plain silly as they can actually afford to buy the whole plane...so spare a thought for the underpants stealers who will now languish in a prison for three years for daring to touch the soiled undergarments of our demi-gods (hah!).

I am however, very happy indeed to say that I am immensely proud of the Southernmost Colony, who have put on a spectacular show for all planets everywhere, with very little reported crime or catastrophe, though that will no doubt be revealed in due course. And even though our ears are still bleeding from the vuvu-what-cha-ma-call-its, and 'the boys the boys' didn't actually get beyond the first round, at least they played with some panache and thrashed those petulant continental pouters and sent them back to their garlic munching planet in disgrace.

And I have even, I confess, felt some slight pangs at not being there amidst the frivolity and eardrum shattering noise and flags flying from every lamp post in sight. According to my dear friend who still lives in the Southernmost Colony and attended a couple of matches, the spirit that abounds everywhere is a wonder to behold and I do wish I could have seen it and joined in...well, maybe it'll be the same on the New Planet in 2012, eh? But kudos to the people and organisers on the Rainbow Colony who have done such a brilliant job, despite the freezing cold and torrential rain at times. I had a good chuckle at the shivering reporters exclaiming in disgust at how cold they were since they 'thought it was always hot here'. I have one word for you lot. Winter.

And now that the red and white flags that were flying proudly have been ripped down or urinated upon by drunken and disappointed fans, I have only one thing to say. We'll try again in four years time, and we'll all get whipped up into a frenzy about our team, who will hold the weight of the entire planet's hopes on their shoulders, and maybe, just maybe, they'll actually score more than a couple of feeble goals.

And one last point to ponder...did no one notice that we actually defeated a certain planet from Down Under in another sporting event? Why was so little mention made of this, the gentleman's game, I ask you? But I'm not gonna even go there, and rant about how I can't even watch this wonderful game on my telly since I don't have SKY. No, I'm not going to mention that at all.